When I saw what the Day Four challenge was, I almost bailed!
Oh, how I HATE the query! I hate the format, the process, the whole stinking idea of it and not for the obvious reasons. Not because I think it’s beneath me or my writing is so good I shouldn’t have to do it, etc.
I hate it because I know so many writers whose work is so wonderful and imaginative and engaging the idea of any of those people trying to sum their work up in a few paragraphs seems hopeless.
For example –
Edith Wharton – Since most of my work takes place in a very small area, the drawing rooms of New York City, my dialogue between characters is layered with subtle meaning. (From this would you really get the impact of some of her scenes?)
John Irving – My work deals with many of life’s complex issues and my characters often speak to the everyman in each of us. (From this would you really be able to feel the heartbreak or joy his books convey?)
So, now filled with dread, I enter into the Challenge of Day Four, by writing the query of my fantasy. The non-formal query which breaks the rules of punctuation, clean, precise format and length. The query I will never send!
Dear Agent Readsalot,
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my query!
I hope you are having a good day and aren’t too tired from trudging through all those manuscripts. Sincerely do I hope you have found a least a few today which intrigued you or made you smile; a few at least which sparked your interest.
Let me begin by saying I have no aspirations to profoundly affect you in any way. I have no desire to write a bestseller or any work designed to change the world.
My goal in writing, as shocking as it may be, is to achieve nothing more than the paperback someone reads on a airplane or in a physician’s waiting room. Yes, that’s my goal! Fiction engaging enough to transport you to another time or place for a short, pleasant interlude- nothing more and nothing less.
The main body of my work is driven by the flawed female character who, despite her personal issues, is still determined to make of go if it in the world. My settings range from the seeming normal of suburban neighborhoods to the fantastical realm of high fantasy. The paranormal aspects of my stories lean more to the fear of what’s behind the creaky door instead of graphic descriptions of severed limbs or drooling zombies. Each of my novels does have a romantic quality, but please don’t expect anything too racy or erotic.
And while this next statement may be very disappointing to you, it is true and needs to stated in the spirit of full disclosure…every single example of my work has a happy ending. There I said it! I am not ashamed!
If you are still reading at this point and have not tossed this letter aside in disgust–thank you for sticking with me!
And if you are inclined at all to read any part of my attached manuscript I would be so bold as to give you some reading advice.
Please read my work at the end of a rough day. Hopefully, it will be raining and cold and you had to walk at least some distance in this bad weather. When you arrive home after this long, dismal day I hope you enjoy a good, warm dinner. If you have a purring cat or beloved dog delighted to see you, that would add to the experience, I assure you. Then I hope you curl up in a comfortable chair, while the wind howls outside and begin to read some of my work.
If I have achieved my writing goals you will end each chapter looking forward to the next, feel yourself catch your breath in surprise a time or two and let out an occasional chuckle.
Thank you for your consideration,